The Problem with Perfection

As you can see, it has been over a year since I have taken the time to update this blog site.

I have been alive this whole time, I have been online all the while, and believe it or not, I have continued writing the entire year... I have just not been posting here on this page... my own page!

I believe in perfection. It is part of my internal makeup. I try my best to do things with the very best of my ability. SO, you ask, what does this have to do with a neglected blog? Well, I have felt that if I could not submit the perfect blog post, I just would not do it at all. For this I apologize.

Something is always better than nothing. The problem with perfection is, many times something is nothing because it just can't be perfect.

I am vowing today, to begin again, and to update this blog at least once every month... and if I fail, I will try again the next month... and the next. :o)

Just sitting here... an outsider-looking in

This week I sit in a privileged position.

It is not very often that I feel like an outsider.

God has been good to my family and me; we are always treated with great hospitality and care. It may be a Kent Smith hand-made goody basket in our room at the Baymont or a bag of hickory-smoked ribs from Van’s Pig Stand as Sis. Bowman hands them in the door of the motor home. It could just as easily be the homemade noodles of Sis. McNeely, the one-of-a-kind sweet tea you get at the Shindolls' home, or a steak with a shrimp cocktail at St. Elmo’s, compliments of the Longs; but one thing is certain: we usually feel right at home and on the inside.

Today is different.

Today I am in a privileged position.

We are parked at a certain church somewhere between the two great oceans, while preaching in other churches in the area. It’s a large church with ministries for all ages. They have masterful preaching and a ministry team that is second to none, facilities that rival the largest denominational churches of the city, and a budget that is used weekly to help missionaries, both foreign and stateside. I have not preached for this certain church--yet, I am the one who is privileged.

Tonight is their church's community-wide fall fest. We have watched them work hard as they have set up booths, moved in trailers, set up sound systems, bounce houses, and bags of toys, and hooked together their large train ride. The work has been constant and done with cheer. But I sit today as an outsider.

I cannot tell you how many carnivals or festivals I have been a part of, worked, or led. It would be easier to list the number of years I have not worked on this type of effort than to try to count the times I have been involved.

There are things I would have been happy to do. I would have loved to help them work out the last-minute details, pull the boxes out of storage, come up with that last booth or prize, drive a tractor, or sell tickets. But today any of my experience or ability will go unnoticed as I sit idly by and watch. Today I am an outsider looking in--to their programs, efforts, and festivities.

I am sure the pastor and each one of those who work in the local church here would be mortified by my thoughts today. If they knew how I felt, they would begin to make excuses for their actions; and without a doubt, they would be apologetic in the most convincing way. But they will never know, because today, I am an outsider.

Don’t be sad for me. I don’t mind others' being involved and happy working in the kingdom… I just realized what it feels like to be an outsider – looking in.

I got the privilege today to feel like so many may feel. I wonder how people feel driving down our streets when they look at our churches. How many people would be willing to get involved with our churches, but they do not feel like they have any right to offer their time, talents, or treasure? They are the outsiders.

The Bible still says that we have the duty and responsibly to go out and compel them to come in. We are biblically required to literally insist that they get involved with our churches. Many people, like me today, do not feel they have the right to intrude into an established program.

Do they have something to offer? Sure they do. There are doctors who could help your church minister to thousands more than they do today. There are licensed counselors, legislators, business owners, chefs, and many, many more who could walk in the door and add value, talent, and treasure to your established church. But as an outsider, they don’t feel comfortable just barging into your program uninvited.

I think there are many who would be honored to be part of our churches. I will go one step further and say, I believe they desire to be part of our churches; but in our efforts to provide a program, we have inadvertently built a wall. So, we fail to reach those who would gladly step in and become part of what we are doing.

Just a few thoughts from an outsider today – who wanted to be an insider.

The Condition of the Church

As we turned left onto Palmyra Road, I saw an unusual and seemingly out of place structure:  just sitting on the other side of the tree line was the Palmyra Community Presbyterian Church.  We were only a few miles outside of Vincennes, in the rich farmland and beautiful rolling hills of western Indiana.  Nestled within the huge old trees sat a church—red bricked, with stained-glass and a bell tower standing as high as ever, but with a sad and wanton appearance of abandonment. 

As we parked our motor home in the beautiful cleared grove next to the parcel that contained the old church, I could not stop thinking of that great testament of faith and community – just sitting there forsaken and forgotten!  Then, as I began to ask about the church, I learned that it had been unused for almost twenty years.

Today we took a few minutes to explore the old cemetery and look around the building. Some of the head stones were nothing less than fascinating.  One was reminiscent of a man from Liverpool born in the 1700’s. Then there was the ten-month-old baby from the 1800’s and several more. But my mind continued to contemplate the church.

 

Its cornerstone bore the date of 1892. The stained-glass windows were as beautiful as any in the world. There were not more than two alike in the entire building. The bell tower still contained the bells of the original design. I found a window with one small pane broken out and used my camera to capture what remained on the inside. I saw pews, instruments, carpet, stained wood, books, an American flag, and a pulpit. But I also could not help but see what used to be.

  

My mind went back to how it must have been 116 years ago as the excitement of the first brick was laid upon the foundation.  What it could have taken to cut and hew the great beam rafters. The homemade scaffolding it must have required to create the bell tower and steeple. I am sure everyone there would expect the church to carry on for centuries, even to continue without end.

 

* * *

My mind has fought the reality of the lonesome look of this great church. The doors overgrown by untrimmed shrubs. Doors that used to open and allow the community to hear the sound of a preacher and the resounding chorus of the choir. . . now shut.

 

The windows of stained-glass that used to allow the sunlight of a Sunday morning to glimmer in the hair of those who went to seek the Lord, and represent to the passer-by what the building was dedicated to and what the church stands for. . . now only a tribute to what used to be.   

 

The bells of marked time that used to signal the measure of a day to a people whose ears were tuned to hear from miles away the sweet sound. . . now quiet.

 

The organ and piano with hymnals opened whose sounds used to fulfill the scriptures admonishing us to praise the Lord. . . collecting dust.

 

The pulpit that once held the Word of the Lord along with the notes of a prepared minister and the perspiration of a fervent message. . .now silent.

 

* * *

My mind raced to our day and the need to pray:

 

A day when true men of God are few and far between; and the compelling desire to be the true church is in direct competition with the fleshly desire to enjoy a Christian concert and call it church. I saw today what many thought was an indestructible structure. And I fear, that without the direct help of the Lord, we too could very easily become a lonely memorial of what used to be.

 

Oh, God, do not allow our doors to become overgrown by our lack of effort to be the church you desire for us to be. Please do not let our prejudice and pretense dictate the condition of the welcome at our doors.

 

Oh, God, do not allow our windows to be just a memorial to what we used to be. Oh, that we would fall in love again with you and our hearts would be in tune with you and our bodies your temple! Oh, that we would continue to gladly display ourselves as separated and set apart from this world and unto you!

 

Oh, God, do not allow our outward sounds to be silenced by our times and the preferences of others. Oh, that we could boldly proclaim your greatness to our communities and that our families would know the certain sound of your house.

 

Oh, God, do not allow our instruments of praise to be silenced by the sounds of this world. Oh, that the voice of your people would still come up before you as a sweet savor, a welcomed accompaniment to our lives dedicated to your will and purpose.

 

Oh, God, please do not allow our pulpits to become silenced by the pop culture and faddish ministry methods that abound today.  Let us not cower to the lowly, fleshly desires of the masses and multitudes, but proclaim the truth that you are the only way. Would that our fervency for your word and your way would outweigh the pull of the flesh and its carnal desires. Oh, to preach you and you crucified, buried and alive again with all power!   In a day oh, Lord, where the call to minister in your sanctuary is drowned out by the cultural appeal for secular security, please help us! Help us so that in another 116 years, if you tarry, men will still be preaching your gospel, baptizing sinners in your name, praying for them as you fill them with your Spirit, and seeing your people live holy lives before you.  Amen and amen.

 

Delay is NOT Denial

We know that God's word states that His ways are above our ways. I have found that when we say we trust the Lord, it must come with the commitment to endure his timing and do so without question. 

It's easy for us to get up and preach faith.  We can talk about Job and his losses, but we always follow  with his blessings (with a hearty emphasis on his blessings); but to say the words "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away" takes more than just a good feeling on a Sunday night. It takes a solid assurance that the Lord is working for my good, along with the understanding that not everything will be comprehended by my finite mind, and not everything that takes place within my life is going to be good. 

I have been to the point of frustration many times since late last year when we placed our house on the market. We priced it very competitively and then dropped the price to make it more appealing. It has not sold. It has had very little traffic other than the ton of flyers that we have put out by the sign. I know we are in the will of God, for He is doing mighty things in our lives. I have been the target of more prophetic words this year than in my entire ministry or life. We know without a doubt that we are going in the specific direction the Lord wants us to... but the sale of our home has been in question for a while now.   

Each time I drive through the neighborhood, I see more homes going up for sale. I see more homes being built by our builder. About two months ago, construction began on the new addition going up right next to ours, and now there are twelve homes in various stages of completion in that area.  A couple of weeks ago I noticed the start of a new addition about a half mile from us.  And all along I am wanting to be free from my home, out on the road full-time in our motor home. 

 

I drive out of my addition and think, God, I guess you just want to show your might and ability to do the impossible. God don't you see these "for sale" signs?  I know you see the many houses being built –and  while I know you are able to sell our home in this environment, even with the housing market instability.... 

Frankly, I did not understand why he was dragging his feet... HA!  I now know why we have not sold our home! Let me try to explain. 

As many around us know, we have been working for a couple of months to buy a motor home. Everyone knows about the housing market and the slump it is in.  I have had much difficulty because in the various lenders’ minds, the two markets go together. Lending on RVs has become a tight business. You basically have to not need the money to buy one before you can borrow the money to buy one!  

So in order for us to qualify to buy the motor home, I had to put up some acreage I own outside of town. No big deal, but here is the miracle—above  my human understanding. 

Texas is one of the two states with a Homestead Law (of this nature) still in existence.  Which in short means, the state is unable to take your final 200 acres. This is probably a great thing for the protection of your land and assets, but it also eliminates the possibility to pledge it as collateral for a loan. 

My bank would not make a loan for an RV right now, but they will loan on acreage. This is how we have structured our loan. However, it would have never been a possibility without owning our home in town. Our home we reside in is the portion of land the state recognizes as a homestead. Therefore without owning the house we live in, in town, the acreage in the country could not have been used to acquire the loan we needed for the motor home, and thus fulfill the will of God in our life! 

All the while I have tried to trust Him without understanding the details and why. But I can say today, he knew all along. His ways are above our ways. His wisdom is without limits. His understanding is infinite! I am glad we can trust him. When our lives are evaluated, all we can say is, We are so small, while He is so GREAT—and the Victory is still His! 

My Time Has Been Short

I wanted to stop long enough to say we have been super busy since our recent spring break. It is my intention to get back to the blog-world in the next few days. We have much to tell, but need the time to post it for you. 

God bless you all!

Still Havin' Some Fun

Well, it has been a few days since I have stopped to update the countless masses who read this thing.  :o)  I do apologize for the delay in my posting.  How do you write and post pictures about rest and relaxation? 

We did see some pretty good rains and and some minor flooding while in the St. Louis area. However, we survived and were able to get out of town without much delay. 

 

Yesterday afternoon we arrived in Branson, Missouri, to stay a couple of days.  

This morning we visited a man named Jack who has a motor home for sale.  Jack and I have become friends over the course of this year.  He told me today that from the second time we spoke on the phone he was convinced that we would be the next owners of the motor home.  He has, since that time, taken his "for sale" sign down and turned away potential buyers until we are in position to buy it.

Today we toured it and took it out for a drive.  I look forward to fulfilling the will of the Lord through the use of this vehicle.

You can see a few pictures of the motor home by visiting our website at: www.theapostolicmessage.org and then go to "about us" and click on the "our dream" link. 

 

Here is a picture of Kayla playing inside the motor home today...

And then a picture of Addie for good measure...

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The Gateway...

Today started out much different from most all other Sunday mornings.  Usually we get up early, get the family ready, and then head out to get to Sunday School on time.  Yes, this morning was different.  After we finished our breakfast, I got a few practice holes in on the golf course.  

Then we set out to go see the Gateway Arch along with some other sites.  We all experienced the tram ride to the top and back down again... so from now on, we can say we have ben to the top of the monument.  It was, I guess, monumental for us all...  

We finished the day with a great meal from The Old Spaghetti Factory just a couple blocks from the Arch, on First street.   

Here are some of the pictures of the day.

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